I recently read a debatable blog post on, “Women Need to Date Multiple Men.” The ironic thing is, it was written by a male. Interested to read the article to see his stance, I agree with some points but definitely not all (see article link below). Instantly I noticed that the article was written from the stance assuming that all men talk to multiple women. The author is also married and not in the dating scene.
The article argues that men date multiple women, so women should even the field by date multiple men. This presents a problem and a disconnect between a genuine relationship between two individuals. Everyone is afraid of playing the fool, so they make sure they keep an option B,C,D, etc. For example, if the male is dating four different women and the woman is dating four different men, what are the chances of them eliminating all options for each other? For the male, she could be option #3 and for the woman, he could be option #1. The disconnect will still be there leaving you to settle for the 2nd or 3rd best option. This could just encourage the relationship games to continue. From a personal stand point, I would not elect to date a girl knowing she was dating multiple men. Why waste my time and effort knowing I’m not getting the full attention? If you are spending time working on yourself and try to better yourself when do you have time to date multiple people, and if you do date multiple people how do you manage the time conflict? I think it’s easy to say that you should be seeing multiple people until you actually experience it, will it cause you more pain than gain in the long run? If you are dating other people, then you should find it okay for the people you are dating to be dating other people as well… it’s a never ending cycle of trial and error. For me to want to give someone my time and attention, I would want to make sure it was worth it. If a woman or a man is dating multiple it should be stated up front to let the other person be aware of what they are getting into rather than being blind sided. You won’t feel a vibe with everyone you go on a date with, but it shouldn’t take you going on multiple dates with that person to understand that.
I just think taking this approach is just going to continue the cycle of games that our generation experiences. The way to combat this is to be genuine in your intentions and upfront. Be authentic in your approach and cut the games. If you are dating to find a partner on an intimate level or if you are dating just for the hell of it and to have fun let that be known. I’m not saying dating multiple people at the same time is wrong, but at least let it be known upfront to avoid signals being crossed and eliminate any room for confusion down the line.
What changes are necessary to get back to building authentic relationships or is dating multiple people at once the way to get back to building these relationships?
Original link —>http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2013/06/date-multiple-men.html