I recently read a debatable blog post on, “Women Need to Date Multiple Men.” The ironic thing is, it was written by a male. Interested to read the article to see his stance, I agree with some points but definitely not all (see article link below). Instantly I noticed that the article was written from the stance assuming that all men talk to multiple women. The author is also married and not in the dating scene.
The article argues that men date multiple women, so women should even the field by date multiple men. This presents a problem and a disconnect between a genuine relationship between two individuals. Everyone is afraid of playing the fool, so they make sure they keep an option B,C,D, etc. For example, if the male is dating four different women and the woman is dating four different men, what are the chances of them eliminating all options for each other? For the male, she could be option #3 and for the woman, he could be option #1. The disconnect will still be there leaving you to settle for the 2nd or 3rd best option. This could just encourage the relationship games to continue. From a personal stand point, I would not elect to date a girl knowing she was dating multiple men. Why waste my time and effort knowing I’m not getting the full attention? If you are spending time working on yourself and try to better yourself when do you have time to date multiple people, and if you do date multiple people how do you manage the time conflict? I think it’s easy to say that you should be seeing multiple people until you actually experience it, will it cause you more pain than gain in the long run? If you are dating other people, then you should find it okay for the people you are dating to be dating other people as well… it’s a never ending cycle of trial and error. For me to want to give someone my time and attention, I would want to make sure it was worth it. If a woman or a man is dating multiple it should be stated up front to let the other person be aware of what they are getting into rather than being blind sided. You won’t feel a vibe with everyone you go on a date with, but it shouldn’t take you going on multiple dates with that person to understand that.
I just think taking this approach is just going to continue the cycle of games that our generation experiences. The way to combat this is to be genuine in your intentions and upfront. Be authentic in your approach and cut the games. If you are dating to find a partner on an intimate level or if you are dating just for the hell of it and to have fun let that be known. I’m not saying dating multiple people at the same time is wrong, but at least let it be known upfront to avoid signals being crossed and eliminate any room for confusion down the line.
What changes are necessary to get back to building authentic relationships or is dating multiple people at once the way to get back to building these relationships?
Original link —>http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2013/06/date-multiple-men.html
For awhile I struggled with writing/speaking on certain topics because I questioned myself as to how qualified I was to enter my own opinion. It took me awhile to realize that wisdom does not just come from experience, but observation as well. Wisdom doesn’t always come with age, for instance my boy Kid President (video on the bottom) is 8 years old at max… making simple observations of life that are often overlooked. I mean, I think he is pretty wise. I started watching the video because I figured it would be pretty fun, but my man really had a message that had me questioning things in my own life… which brings me to my next point.
Another ongoing struggle for me is figuring out what my purpose is. I want to live a fulfilling life of purpose, something that I enjoy doing that will still help me be able to pay my bills each month(a Brotha has to eat) and be able to make a positive impact on the world. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the nice car and big house, but I’d only want it if I knew I was doing something meaningful in my life that will have a positive impact on the world, because Lord knows there is already enough negativity going around. I’ve watched videos, read books, asked others on how I could find my purpose in life and I realized that it wasn’t something someone else could identify for me… it’s something I’d have to search for internally.
What I’d like to do is challenge you, if you don’t already know, and myself to figure out what our purpose is and what we truly enjoy. Not something that we’d like to do just for monetary purposes, or something we see someone else doing and is successful at… because someone else has success doing something doesn’t mean you well nor that it is meant for you. If you are anything like me, when I come across something inspiring it lasts anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days. Once you find something that inspires you, keep it… once you feel like the fire is dying down, go back to it. Some soul searching and cutting out the things that aren’t going to make you better.
It’s very easy to get stagnant and complacent in life. Getting into daily routine and traveling on the path that has been beaten to death. Playing it safe because you know nothing can go wrong if you can already predetermine the outcome. We always want more out of life but instead of seeking more, we wait for more to come to us.
What about making reasonable, responsible risks? If you never try you’ll never succeed. What about having an adventure? Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. Go somewhere you’ve never gone, you never know what could be waiting for you.
With high risk, there is the opportunity for high reward. If you want to live above your comfort zone, break free and do something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do but were reluctant to because you were uncertain of the result. If you face rejection, bounce back and reevaluate what you might be able to correct to face success the next time. If you want something that you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done. There may be harm in risk but there’s also regret in doing nothing. The one who knows how to adjust is the one who knows how to survive. Take the risk and deal with the consequences it might just be the best damn thing you’ve ever done.
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When life gets rough, any opportunity thrown your way looks like a great opportunity. Despite the side effects that may occur in the long run, this new opportunity fills whatever voids may be present at the time. Some opportunities are like a drug, they heal you for a set amount of time and have you feeling great, but when that high comes down, you are still experiencing the same pain you had before the drug.
Everything that is good to you, isn’t good for you.
Some of us may be in stagnant relationships because we think we are in love and it temporarily fills the void of being lonely. Now, I’m not here telling you that you are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, but you are. Of course, in the short run you are temporarily happy. Be it you are dealing with a recent break up and you are looking for a rebound, or you are just tired of being lonely, in the long run you will realize you are settling for what you do not deserve because it looked good temporarily. Save yourself the pain in the long run and relax, wait until the right opportunity presents itself so you do not miss out on something great, just because you needed to fill a void. Sure the temporary void filler may be good to you, but is it good for you?
Let your intenions be deliberate.
You can either grow a forest or you can grow a garden. With the forest, you get nice big trees that provide shade and shelter, but it’s also wild, sporadic and hard to maintain. With the garden, it’s small but contorallable. It’s easy to customize your garden to your liking and easy to maintain. Now relate this to what you focus on, be deliberate about the people you bring into your life, they might be good to you, but are they good for you? There are many times you might be present with an opportunity, but is it your good opportunity? A good relationship, but is it your good relationship? You have to say no sometimes to the good because it blocks your view of the great. I’m not saying pass up good opportunities, but evaluate each opportunity and determine if it is the right opportunity. Just because it looks good, smells good, feels good… doesn’t mean it is good. Sometimes you have to just say, “i’ll pass.” Write down the things in your life that you feel are important, and determine if it is what you really want. If you chase your passion instead of the things that are just thrown in front of you, everything you ever wanted, everthing you ever wanted to be, everything you ever needed will be yours. Get what you deserve.
As the years go on, the things around us change. Technology is constantly improving, our economy is getting worse and children are more brand savvy than ever.
I can remember in elementary school having the cool light up shoes that all my friends were jealous of, but if you asked me the brand name… I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you. We were not really worried about which brand of clothes we were, that was the least of our worries… All I was worried about was playing outside until the street lights came on.
Today you see kids in Polo, Jordan, Nike, etc… All the top brand names that adults usually associate with. Well, what’s the big deal? Why does it matter if children are brand savvy or not? In my Public Relations class, this was the topic of discussion and to say the least, a very interesting one.
NBC set up a focus group of 8-10 tweens. They were in a room and were asked to identify certain brands, which they did with no problem, little did they know that their parents were on the other side of the glass watching them.
The parents were shocked and had no idea how brand savvy their children were, they also did not know how they were being exposed to these brands and the associations that make with them. A few kids even admitted that they want to wear these brands so they do not get teased at school.
What about the less fortunate kids whose parents can’t afford name brand clothing for their children? Should these kids be teased and bullied because of their financial situation that they have no control of? Is this putting peer pressure on kids to desire top name brands, only to be considered “cool?”
If that didn’t blow your mind, this definitely will. Have you ever heard of the GIA? Yeah, me neither. The GIA stands for “Girls Intelligence Agency.” The GIA is actually a marketing firm that selects a handful of “popular” tween girls around the world who have a major influence on their friends who are considered to be the “Alpha Girl.” The GIA then sets up these slumber parties at the Alpha Girl’s house with a dozen of her friends and they send them a box full of new toys, games and clothes and let the kids decide which ones they think are the coolest. This is actually a type of viral marketing that they use to sway the opinions of these tweens.
What do you think? Do you think marketers are taking things too far and placing too much peer pressure on children? Or is it just they way the world is evolving, and just something we are going to have to deal with? What kind of effect will this have on children in the future?
Last night I was thinking, and I came up with a personal opinion. This is a personal opinion so if you do not agree, that is absolutely fine.
I believe a woman would much rather prefer to be with an unattractive guy with a good/friendly personality over someone they find attractive with a good/friendly personality. I have a few reasons why.
Reason #1: Women like competition, but not when it comes to their significant other. I feel as if women do not want other women looking at their man, regardless of what they say.
Reason #2: Women view someone they find unattractive carrying a friendly conversation with another woman as a “friendly” conversation. No harm done. However, place someone they find attractive in the same situation and they see it as being “flirtatious.” The harm is done.
Reason #3: Women might feel like they are doing the guy they see as “unattractive” a favor by being with them. Making the guy feel entitled to do whatever for them that they may request.
Well, maybe not so much reason #3, this is my personal observation… I may be wrong but we are all entitled to our opinions.
Twitter All-Stars are the people that you usually see on social networks going ham. They may have 846,943,394 tweets and 1,000,000 followers. They are the coolest of the cool. They live fabricated lives through social networking sites to make their lives 10x’s cooler than what they really are. They are the people that have everything to say via twitter, but when you see them in real life they are mute. With 97% less swagger than they had on twitter. Stop it. Cut it out.
They might tweet things like, “RT if you love your mom.” OR, “If he d03sn’t KiSs Yuu 0N yur 4head h3 d03snt luv yu.” Of course I love my mom! They tweet things to get your attention. They cast out their reel just to hook you in. Stop it. Cut it out.
Can girls be Twitter All-Stars? Well, of course!
They are the one’s with the photo-shopped on top of photo-shopped pictures with “the angles.”
“The angles” is the way they position the camera to get the best shot of their boobs and the best side of their face or just to make sure the flash covers their face to deceive you and mislead you to believe that they really do look like that. They are the ones that post the pictures of their chest all out fishing for dudes to comment, and when they do finally comment they are the first to accuse the guy of being “thirsty”….. What ever that means? Stop it. Cut it out.
If you can’t be the same person on social networks that you are in real life, then you may have some re-evaluating to do.
If I’m going to follow you, I’m going to trust in you not to mislead me.
If you are upset with this post, then you are probably guilty.
Shout out to @whensheSPEAKS_ for being a firm supporter of ending the Twitter All-Star plague.
We all have our daily struggles may it be school, work, finances etc. These burdens take a swift blow to our hearts and souls and shed darkness upon our happiness. However, it is not about what happens to you, it is about how you react. If you get knocked down and fall on your back or when you feel like you are on the bottom, the only way to go from there is up! You have to roll with the punches, many times the setbacks are right before the come up.
Stop being scared
Stop being scared of opportunities that are thrown your way. You want that job that makes a lot of money, but you are scared of the responsibilities that come with it… you can’t win the raffle if you don’t buy the ticket! Take a chance, be brave and challenge yourself to be better. Whenever you desire more, a lot more is desired of you.
Change your mind
Change the way you think. If you look at losing your job as “getting fired” or a recent relationship that went sour as, “breaking up” try looking at it as an opportunity to be better. Find another job, a better job. Find another partner, a better partner. I know these things are hard to stomach, but dwelling on them will not make you or your situation any better. It is very often that setbacks end up being blessings in disguise. Believe in yourself – if you tell yourself you can’t do it… then you probably can’t do it. Have faith and fuel your mind with positive thoughts then watch the positive results blossom.
You can do it.
Name: Curtis Jennings
Hometown: Hampton, VA
Goal: To become the new face of Fox43
Curtis is the newest contestant in The face of Fox43 competition. Pursuing a Mass Communications degree at Old Domion University, Curtis believes he is the perfect fit. He has a long-term goal of becoming a broadcaster on ESPN and understands that winning this competition will definitely help him get his foot in the door. Curtis is a well-known, well-respected guy in the Hampton Roads area and is full of charisma. He is seen as humble by his peers as well as very vocal. Curtis is a mentor to the youth and often takes valuable time out of his day to spend time with the children at his mother’s daycare. A family oriented young man with a bright future.
Why vote for Curtis?
Curtis is very passionate about broadcasting and knows he will excel in this field in the future. He is well aware of all the hardwork and dedication it will require to accomplish his goal and refuses to let anything stand in his way.
How to vote
In order to vote, it is required to watch this short two minute clip entered by Curtis in it’s entirety. No worries, this will be two minutes well spent watching a very entertaining video. Here is the link http://www.fox43tv.com/generic/face_of_fox_43/FOF12-curtis-jennings
Curtis appreciates your vote and would love for you to share this link with your friends in family to show support.